It’s so easy to hear that story
about how everything is ruined.
When you’re not in the middle of this
when you’re status-quo copesetic
it’s an academic exercise
at most
an explanation
for why everything isn’t quite right
even when everything is right
But nobody ever told me
that some nights this full house would be also-empty
that this full life would be also-empty
that my life would demand from me not just answers but actions
except that I’d have no answers let alone actions
They never told me that I might long for the cold comfort of resignation
Right now I’d take comfort in any temperature it wants to come in.
They never warned me
that sometimes
you can’t shrug your shoulders and say
“oh well I gave it all I have.”
I gave it all I have…
I did give it all I have.
It wasn’t enough.
It isn’t enough.
Where is my “oh well?”
I’m afraid.
That I’d sell my soul.
For that.
Tags: failing, Garden of Eden, giving up, resignation, struggling
